


My Love

by Guardian_Rose



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Arishok battle, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mage Hawke - Freeform, Mild descriptions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 13:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guardian_Rose/pseuds/Guardian_Rose
Summary: “Hawke, use me. Heal yourself enough to get up again. Quickly.” Fenris was practically growling out the words into Hawke’s ear; that was how orders were meant to be delivered, Hawke was really missing the mark.“Never.” Hawke snapped, no way would he ever use Fenris like that.





	My Love

Hawke was blindsided by the Arishok’s attack, he had no idea how much damage had been done this time. Too much of him was demanding attention to differentiate between what was newly dripping blood and what had already been bleeding. He had to be close to running out of blood at this point, so that would solve that conundrum. 

 

He had been running, which was actually more of a hobble at this point, and then he was at Fenris’ feet; quite literally leaning against his legs. He knew from his previous laps of the room, trying to avoid the Arishok whilst intermittently firing mage bolts, that Aveline had been holding back the furious elf since Hawke had first started to slow. He wasn’t sure how much of the anger was true fury and how much was fear. Not that it would matter if he didn’t get up and start moving again, next time he would be able to bring down a crushing prison on the bastard and that should, hopefully, chip away at the Arishok whilst Hawke ran to give himself time to recharge a bit. 

 

The knees supporting him suddenly pressed forward into his back and a hand landed on his shoulder with a surprisingly gentle shock. He heard Aveline hissing at Fenris to stop crouching lest he invalidate the terms of the duel but at this point Hawke was much more concerned with the elf himself.

 

“Fen-” Hawke coughed and spat out some blood before trying again, “Fenris, get up. Now.” 

 

Fenris didn’t obey further than to remove the comforting hand, Maker how hadn’t he realised how reassuring that point of contact had been until it was gone? Then it was back, this time free of the spiky armour and Hawke didn’t bother trying to stop himself from leaning into the soft touch of Fenris’ fingers against his neck. He was likely going to die here, why not indulge a bit. Couldn’t blame the other man for not following orders when they came from a mage choking on his own blood. He hoped he hadn’t lost any teeth, he couldn’t remember losing any but that didn’t account for much. He should have kissed him before the fight had begun, one last kiss. 

 

“Hawke, use me. Heal yourself enough to get up again. Quickly.” Fenris was practically growling out the words into Hawke’s ear; that was how orders were meant to be delivered, Hawke was really missing the mark.

 

“Never.” Hawke snapped, no way would he ever use Fenris like that. 

 

He would never, not even to save himself or all of Kirkwall. He wouldn’t use him as a  _ thing _ , wouldn’t ever abuse him in such a way. Fenris’ grip grew tight, silently telling him to do it whilst  _ actually _ telling him to do it before the Arishok got up again, they were almost out of time. 

 

“I am giving you permission, Hawke. Do it.”

 

Hawke closed his eyes, refusing to even argue back because he knew that deep down, Fenris wouldn’t offer unless he meant it. Unless he wanted it. And it was a well known fact amongst anyone who knew Hawke, that he couldn’t deny Fenris anything. Even his best shirt to be torn into a token, a token which was trailing against his shoulder. Maker damn the elf.

 

“Garrett.” Hawke wasn’t even ashamed of the pathetic noise that escaped him as Fenris’ tone turned desperate, flooded with panic and fear, pleading for Hawke to save himself, “Please. Please heal yourself, for me. I am yours.”

 

“Fen…” Hawke screwed his hands into fists, one drawing his staff closer to his body as he started the incant, drawing from the lyrium that was a part of his friend, his partner in battle, his former lover, his forever. “I’m gonna kill you if you die from this.”

 

\---------------------------------------

 

He remembered the Arishok faltering, he fell out of his charge before reaching Hawke. A few precious strides between them. He remembered the crushing prison fading away and the Arishok summoning his energy to launch another offensive, he remembered the tearing inside of himself as he drove every ounce of magic left in him into a lightning strike that brought the qunari to his knees. Isabela had cheered, a sound entirely misplaced in what had narrowed down to the confines of Hawke’s world: the Arishok crashing to the ground before him, Aveline half holding up Fenris in the corner of his vision, the staff he kept in front of him in defense. 

 

Hawke remembered slashing the Arishok’s throat. 

 

Anders had to tell him what he himself couldn’t piece together. Hawke couldn’t remember his cry of alarm when Fenris silently collapsed. He couldn’t remember ignoring his own exhaustion and agony to actually run, not hobble, to Fenris; he had been fractions of a second too late to catch him before he hit the floor. Aveline wasn’t to blame, she’d left the elf’s side to sort out the nobles who had remained in the room. Anders told him how he’d found Fenris’ still-beating heart before following in the elf’s steps and dramatically listing to the side before hitting the ground.

 

When everything had been told and Anders had force fed him bread and water, Fenris appeared in the doorway. He was swaying slightly but maintained his hostility towards Anders as the healer left.

 

“I am angry with you, Fenris, just to make that clear. But I’m also cold.” Hawke lifted a hand, an invitation and a plea; he wasn’t sure that it would be accepted, after all they still didn’t talk but they did have a hefty record of there-but-not-really touches and longing looks that spoke enough for the both of them. 

 

“I am hardly pleased with you, Hawke.” Fenris scowled but he did sit on the edge of the bed and clasp Hawke’s hand in his, running his fingers over the scratches.

 

“That’s fair.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Hawke. I know you do not...what I made you do was….dishonourable. For that, I apologise.” Fenris didn’t meet Hawke’s gaze, choosing instead to focus on the red cloth tied around his unarmoured wrist.

 

“I’m not angry about that, Fenris. I’m angry that you allowed me to take so much, you should have stopped me.” Hawke watched as the other man’s face shifted from guilt to confusion then back again, so beautiful.

 

“Would you have stopped?” 

 

Hawke huffed out a laugh, wincing as it pulled at his injuries, and linked his fingers through Fenris’. “No. No, I wouldn’t have stopped if it were to save you.”

 

“Then we are at an understanding.” 

 

“I’m told by Anders that you fainted rather spectacularly when I won. Very sweet of you, my love.”

 

Fenris tensed up instantly but it took a few sluggish seconds for Hawke to realise what he’d said. Then a few more seconds of harshly berating himself and his loose tongue, he could pass it off as a teasing joke if he tried. But even then...it was clearly not. They both knew it. He braced himself for Fenris to make an excuse to leave, waited for the warm hand in his to slip away, closed his eyes against the tears that were springing up from his anger at his own ineptitude. Thankfully, they didn’t fall. 

 

Time passed and Fenris’ weight didn’t shift on the bed, his hand remained holding on to Hawke’s. The mage could still hear his breathing and feel his gaze on him though he dared not look. Then Fenris was closer, wonderfully closer as for the first time in years their lips met. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> Any and all comments welcome! Especially prompts! <3
> 
> Thank you to my friend, Tyree, for beta-ing for me! <3


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